Home Improvements
by con14
Summary: Hiccup and the gang are tasked into building a new house, and there about to find out that it's not as easy as it looks.
1. Chapter 1

**Plans**

Within the Great Hall of Berk, two Vikings, a man and a woman, obviously married, are waiting for something. Just then, Gobber came limping in, and approached them with excitement.

"Ah you two made it, well I hope you like Berk so far?" He said.

"Oh we love it, nice people, good location, and with the dragons as friends, it's great for raising children." The woman answered.

"Well, that's great to here, now all we need to do is get your house built and you can get settled in." Gobber said.

"Okay, so let's go find a house." The man stated.

He began to walk out but was stopped by Gobber.

"Actually, since you're both new on Berk, I should tell you now. When you want to live here, you don't just find a house, we have to build it." He explained.

"Really?" He questioned.

"Yes Really." Gobber answered.

"OK I guess, but I don't really have a lot of experience building houses." He explained.

"Oh don't worry about that, we'll build it for ya." He said.

"Oh, will you be building?" The woman asked.

"Not me. But, I will be calling in a specialist." He said.

After saying that, he turned towards the door and whistled. Then Hiccup came walking in with a happy look on his face and carrying some papers.

"Who is this?" The man asked confused.

"This is my apprentice Hiccup. Hiccup, this is Ilsa and Jorgen, and they would like to move here." He said.

"Hi there and welcome to Berk, I hope you enjoy your stay." He greeted as he shook both their hands.

"Thank you." Ilsa greeted.

"Nice to meet you." Jorgen greeted.

"Hiccup here will be the one building your new house." Gobber said.

"What!" They both said in unison.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"No, no, it's just that he's kind of young to build a house don't you think?" Jorgen asked.

"Don't you worry one bit. Hiccup here can build anything, and I mean anything." He explained.

"Well, I guess we could give this a try." Ilsa said.

"Great, now let's get down to business." Hiccup said.

Hiccup then led them over to a table and laid down the papers which showed very detailed plans for a house, with measurements and everything.

"Okay, so these are the basically the plans for you knew home. What you're looking at is a standard two floor house with a living and kitchen area." He explained.

"Good, I'll a place a cook." Ilsa commented.

"Now, are you two planning on having any children?" He asked.

"We are going to have a child yes." Jorgen answered.

"Good, so we can start planning on building an extra edition to the house. Also, on Berk, all the houses here have wooden dragons for decorations, would you like one added?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." Jorgen said.

"Come on, I can get you guys a great deal on a Nadder." He said.

"I guess." Ilsa said.

"Excellent. Now with all that out of the way, let's get this done." He said.

"Wait; are you the only one building?" Ilsa asked.

"Of course not. I got a crack team who are ready, willing and able." He said with confidence.

Then the scene shifts to Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut standing at, by their definition, attention. Astrid was standing there impatiently cross armed, Snotlout was cleaning out his ear, Fishlegs was playing around with a hammer, and the twins were continuously shoving each other.

"This, is your crack team?" Jorgen asked.

"Hey, they may not look like much, but when they get to work, they're the best." Hiccup tried to reassure them.

"Jorgen, maybe we can give this a try?" Ilsa asked her husband.

"Alright." Jorgen said.

"You will not regret this, I swear to you." Hiccup said.

"Ok, so how about I give you two a tour of the island and we'll leave them alone to do their work." Gobber said leading them both away.

"Don't worry about anything, this place will be up and running by the end of the week." Hiccup shouted after them.

When they were all out of sight, Hiccup turned to the others.

"Alright you guys, let's get to work." He ordered.

"This should be fun." Snotlout commented.

They all picked up their tools and began to build a new home for the new arrivals.


	2. foundation

The Vikings stood around the construction site; it was full of tools and supplies such as large planks of wood, winches, ropes, buckets, and powdered limestone. They were a little worried because they had to build an entire house.

"Alright you guys, let's go over the blueprints." Hiccup said.

They all gathered around as he unfolded the plans, although some of them didn't really know what they were looking at.

"Hey Hiccup, exactly what is this?" Snotlout asked holding the blueprints upside down.

"This, my hairy friend, is the instructions on how to build the house." He said taking them back.

"Wow, these are really detailed." Fishlegs commented.

"Well, this is our first big project, so I want everything to go right." He said.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's build this thing." Tuffnut said.

"Whoa there lightning; it's not going to be so easy." He said.

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked.

"Well, first we have to set up a foundation, build the floor, the walls, and the roof, construct all the rooms, and build the second floor…" He listed.

"This is going to take forever." Ruffnut pointed out.

"Yeah, I thought this was going to be one of those fun projects you know." Snotlout said.

"Hey, if we just work hard enough, we'll be done in no time." He said.

"I guess." Ruffnut said.

"Ok, now let's get to work." Hiccup said.

"Yeah exactly, what do we do first?" Astrid asked.

"Well first, we have to build the foundation." He said.

"And how do we do that?" Fishlegs asked.

"First we use shovels to dig small holes, then we take those large wooden pillars and put them in the holes, and then we fill the holes with limestone that has been mixed with water." He explained.

After his explanation, they all went to work, they picked up their shovels and began to dig holes in the ground, but unfortunately they hit a snag when the twins began to fight over a shovel.

"Hey, this is my shovel." Tuffnut said.

"No way, dragon breath, it's my shovel." She retorted.

Their fighting was really starting to get on Astrid's nerves, she was trying to work, but the twins were distracting.

"How about you two stop fighting, or else I'm going to using that shovel to dig your graves!" She threatened.

They both instantly shut up and Tuffnut released the shovel and went to help Fishlegs, and Ruffnut started to dig. Snotlout was done with his hole and placed the pillar into the hole and managed to secure it into the ground, and then he walked over to the pile of powdered limestone and looked at it with confusion.

"Umm, Hiccup, how do I use this white stuff?" He asked.

"It's simple, you just mix the limestone with water, stir it a little and it creates a moist solution that turns hard when it dries." He explained without turning around.

Snotlout looked and noticed the bucket of water right next to the limestone. So he poured both the water and the limestone into a large bucket and saw how it became grey and mushy, he then put his hand into the bucket and began to stir it and it was beginning to feel very consistent.

"Ok, got it." He said still stirring.

"Just be careful and not get it everywhere; that stuff dries pretty fast and when it does, it becomes as hard as rock." He said.

Snotlout face sunk when he heard that, he quickly pulled his hand out of the bucket, but unfortunately, the grey substance turned white and solid. He tried to get it off, but it was not working, he panicked and started to wave his hand around, trying so hard to get the stuff off.

"Odin with all your great power, please remove this evil thing from my hand." He prayed.

He waited, but nothing happened.

"Thanks a lot." He said.

He kept on trying to get his hand free, but there's just no luck.

"Hey Snotlout, are you ok?' Hiccup asked.

"Yeah…great." Snotlout said, trying not to draw attention.

He started shaking his arm like a mad man and while doing this, he accidently rammed into Tuffnut who had just picked up a large pillar.

"Hey." He said.

He turned to face Snotlout, but when he did, he swung the pillar and hit Fishlegs in the back.

"Ohh!" He shouted.

He stumbled forward and he accidently got his foot stuck in a hole that Ruffnut had dug, and he tripped and fell over hit a board of wood which catapulted a bucket of water that lands on Astrid's head, completely dousing her.

"What the heck?" She said.

"What was that man?" Tuffnut asked Snotlout.

"I uhh…" He stammered trying to come up with something.

"What's going on here?" Hiccup asked.

"You got to help me man, I can't get this stuff off my hand, it's impossible." He said.

Hiccup took a look at Snotlout's hand and inspected the stone covering.

"Don't worry, there's a subtle solution to your dilemma." He said.

"Oh good." He replied.

Hiccup placed his hand on a flat surface, and then he inspected it for a few seconds, and then he just took out a hammer and hit it as hard as he could and it cracked and Snotlout's hand was free.

"That was your subtle solution?" Snotlout asked surprised.

"Hey, your hand is free isn't it?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, thanks." He said.

"Hey you guys, if you're done talking, maybe we can get back to building this house." Astrid said.

"Yeah you're right. Back to work everybody." Hiccup said.

Everybody went back to their respective jobs, and went back to work, Hiccup was about to get back to work, but then he was stopped by Snotlout.

"Hey Hiccup, how did you know how to do that without breaking my hand?" He asked.

Hiccup looked at him with a deadpan look.

"Well Snotlout, I was willing to take that risk." He said.iHuc

HicH


	3. panelling

After their little indiscretion with the quick drying cement, the Vikings had managed to build the foundation of the house and then they moved on to building the floor and walls.

"Ok you guys, the next step is to build the paneling. So what we need to do is take these large boards of wood, cut them into smaller strips, and then nail them to the foundation." Hiccup explained.

"No problem." Astrid said.

"Oh and Snotlout, try not to get anything stuck on your hands." Hiccup said.

"Oh let it go, it happened so long ago." He stated.

"It happened like an hour ago." He responded.

Snotlout then went to work; each of them took a large board of wood and then went to cut them with saws. Fishlegs noticed Tuffnut kneeling on his board while he was sawing it.

"Hey umm Tuffnut, I don't think being on your board while sawing it is a good idea." He said.

"Relax Fishlegs; I think I know what I'm doing." He said.

He continued sawing, but unfortunately, when he finished his cut, the board separated and he fell face first onto the ground.

"Told you." He said.

"Hey Fishlegs, come down here I want to tell you something." He responded threateningly.

When they all finished cutting the boards, they began hammering them into the foundation; Snotlout was hammering his in, but then he accidently hit his thumb with his hammer and cried out in pain.

"AH, oh sweet Thor that hurts!" He shouted.

He turned around to notice Tuffnut giggling at his misfortune.

"Oh that's funny to you?" He asked.

"Yeah it kind of is." He said.

"Ok, maybe you think this is funny." He said.

He then stepped on his foot and laughed as Tuffnut jumped up and down while holding his foot.

"Ok that's it." He said.

Tuffnut then took his hand and began to wave it up and down in front of his face and that made Snotlout follow it and then he slapped him in the face.

"Oh a wise guy eh." He said.

Snotlout then he slapped both of his cheeks and Tuffnut rubbed his cheek and Fishlegs, who was watching them, walked over to them.

"Hey you guys knock it off." He said.

"Mind your own business fish stick." Snotlout said.

"Hey!" Fishlegs said.

He then took Snotlout's arms and arranged them so that one arm would be in under his chin as a fist and the other was holding the elbow as if to simulate slouching position, and then he hit the bottom of his hand and that caused his arm to shoot up and give him an uppercut.

"Why I outta." He said.

He then put his finger under his nose and gave it a quick pinched it, and that made Fishlegs let out an irritated murmur.

"Hey leave him alone." Tuffnut said.

He took his hand and then using his middle and fore finger, he poked both of his eyes.

"You know what, you're right, I'm sorry." He said.

He gave him a light pat on the forehead and then when he wasn't expecting it, he gave a full force palm smack on the forehead.

"Hey cheap shot." Fishlegs said.

Snotlout didn't react he just gave him a quick backhand slap in the face, and that made both Fishlegs and Tuffnut mad. So Fishlegs slapped him on one side and when he turned his head, Tuffnut slapped him on the other side and they both laughed.

"Oh so that's how you want to play it huh?" He asked.

He turned to Fishlegs and held his fist out in front of him.

"See that?" He asked.

"Yeah." He answered.

Then Fishlegs slapped his hand and then Snotlout swung his fist in a circular motion and clunked him right on the top of the head.

"Okay back to work you bozos." He said.

"Hey you ain't the boss of me." Tuffnut said sticking his tongue out.

"Oh yeah, do that again." He said.

Tuffnut stuck out his tongue again, but this time he grabbed his tongue and pulled it forward and then released and it went flying back into his mouth and it caused him to throw his head back.

"Next time, don't be so tongue tied." He joked.

Then over the next few minutes, the three of them continued to deliver various insults, bad puns, and physical injuries. Hiccup had been watching this, and at first it was entertaining, but now it was just getting tiresome and they were wasting valuable work time, so he approached them and broke it up.

"Hey, knock it off." He said.

They didn't listen and continued to fight, so to get their attention, he approached them and with one big swing of his arm, he slapped all of them in the face at once and before they could react, he brought his hand back and slapped them again. They looked at him while rubbing their cheeks like little kids.

"Stop fighting and get back to work you stooges." He said.

They all nodded and went back to work, meanwhile Astrid was laying down the floor boards and when she finished, she stood back to admire her work. Then Ruffnut came by and saw the floor.

"Nicely done." She said.

"Thank you." She responded.

Ruffnut continued to inspect the floor, and then she turned to Astrid.

"Now are you sure that the boards are properly secured them to the foundation?" She asked.

"Of course, I'm not an idiot." She said.

"I'm not saying you're an idiot, I'm just saying that you need to make sure that the boards are firmly secured so that they won't come popping up when you step on them." She explained.

Astrid then turned to her and gave her an 'I know what I'm doing' look.

"Look, these boards are as secure as Gobber in a doorway after a fourth helping of ham." She explained.

"Good simile." Ruffnut said.

Astrid then placed her foot on the end of one of the boards.

"I assure you that these boards are secure." She said.

She then pressed her foot down on the board, but then it sprang up but it didn't get very far because the other end of it was right underneath Hiccup and when it shot up, it hit Hiccup right where the sun don't shine.

"Oh, ding dong." He said in a high pitch voice.

Hiccup then fell over while holding his manhood and Astrid was utterly shocked at the fact that she hit her boyfriend right in his most important feature.

"Holy crap Hiccup I am so sorry." She apologized.

"Don't worry about; I'll be fine, although I might never have kids." He said.

Ruffnut watched him and all she could saw was one thing.

"I'll go get an ice pack." She said walking away.

iHuc

HicH


	4. roofing

Hiccup spent the last half-hour sitting down holding an ice pack on his manhood after the incident with a loose floorboard; Astrid came over and sat next to him.

"Hey you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said but looked like he was still in pain.

"Look, I'm sorry about what just happened." She said.

"No, no, it was my fault; I was in the wrong place at the wrong time." He said.

"I think you should go home." She said.

"Again no, I told Gobber we could do this so let's get to work." He said getting up.

Hiccup walked over to Fishlegs, Snotlout and Tuffnut who had just finished the wall they were building.

"Looking good you guys." He said.

"Well what else would you expect from me?" Snotlout asked with an arrogant smile.

"A complete disaster." Fishlegs said.

Snotlout shot him a murderous glare.

"What? You asked." He said.

"Now what do we do?" Tuffnut asked.

"Well now that the walls are up, we should get to work on the roof." Hiccup said.

"How do we do that?" Snotlout asked.

"We basically have to get to the top and place some boards so that we stand and apply the shingles." He explained.

"Wait, you mean go up there?" Fishlegs asked pointing up.

"Yes Fishlegs, in order to build the roof we need to go up to the top." Hiccup said.

"Yeah, that could be a problem." He said.

"What is it Fishlegs?" Hiccup asked.

"You see, I'm kind of afraid of heights." He said.

"What?" Snotlout asked.

Fishlegs didn't say anything he just stood there with his head down.

"Fishlegs, how are you afraid of heights, you fly a dragon, we all do." Hiccup said.

"That's different, while I'm riding a dragon I'm too focused on flying that I forget about my fear." He explained.

"So you're okay about flying hundreds of feet in the air yet you're afraid to stand on top of a house that's less than 20 feet?" Tuffnut asked.

"Yeah pretty much." Fishlegs said.

"Okay, okay, with every problem, there's a solution." Hiccup said.

The guys brainstormed for ideas on what to do about Fishlegs, meanwhile the girls worked on making the shingles for the roof.

"Uh how many of these things do we need to make?" Ruffnut asked.

"Enough to cover the whole roof." Astrid said.

"Ugh, this is going to take forever." She complained.

"Relax; compared to what the boys are doing, we got the easy job." She said.

Meanwhile, the guys try to get Fishlegs up to the roof, their solution is to have Fishlegs climb up a rope and not look down, he started climbing, and he was getting excited.

"I'm doing it you guys, I'm really doing it." He said.

"That's great; now let's see you climb more than 6 inches off the ground." Snotlout said.

Fishlegs opened his eyes to see that he was only a small distance from the ground, but even that freaked him out.

"I'm scared guys." He said.

"Okay we need a new plan." Hiccup said.

So the guys tied the rope around Fishlegs and connected it to a winch and Hiccup began to push the handle and the rope started to rise, but as soon as Fishlegs was lifting off the ground, he instantly grabbed the ground and held on tight.

"Come on Hiccup harder." Tuffnut said.

"I need help." Hiccup said as he struggled.

"Alright move over." Snotlout said.

He got next to Hiccup and pushed, but Fishlegs was still hanging on and so Tuffnut decided to jump in. After seconds of intense pushing, the ground beneath Fishlegs released and he flew up, unfortunately, so did the other guys. After that Hiccup decided to have Meatlug pull the rope and that Fishlegs up in no time. They were all on the roof lying on the beams.

"Hey Fishlegs, could you pass me another nail?" Hiccup asked.

"Sure." He said.

Fishlegs grabbed a nail and walked over the Hiccup, unfortunately he didn't notice a cloth rag right in front of him; he slips and falls right off the roof. The guys looked over and saw him lying on the ground.

"Fire up the Gronkle Hiccup." Snotlout said.

The guys tried their same tactic and having Meatlug pull Fishlegs up, but before he goes up, Snotlout put his helmet back on his head.

"Here wear your helmet it protects your head…from what I don't know." Snotlout said as Fishlegs was hoisted up.

The guys continued to build and Fishlegs was carrying some wood.

"Nice work Fishlegs." Hiccup said.

"Thanks Hiccup." He said unknowingly walking towards the ledge.

"Um watch your step big guy." He said.

"Don't worry I got it…" He didn't finish as he fell off the roof again.

They tried again and while Fishlegs was hammering a nail, Snotlout passed by to see that he had his helmet tied to his butt.

"Fishlegs, why is your helmet tied to your butt?" He asked.

"For protection." He answered.

Snotlout picked up a crowbar and began to try and remove the helmet.

"It's meant for your head." He said pulling.

"It's my butt!" Fishlegs said.

"It's not safe!" He yelled.

"Snotlout stop!" He yelled.

"It's not meant for your…" he was cut off when the helmet finally came off, and they both flew off the roof. Snotlout and Fishlegs were then both hoisted up on the rope.

Back on the roof, Fishlegs was on his knees hammering nails and then he pounded on one so hard that it cause the guys who were on the other side of the beam to fly, but they fell back down and landed on the same beam which launched Fishlegs off the roof, the guys looked over the side and saw him on the ground waving to them.

"You hoo." He said.

They tried one more time and this time, they tied Fishlegs to a rock so that he wouldn't fall and the guys were almost done with the roof.

"Alright, that should do it, now all we need is for the girls to finish the shingles." Hiccup said.

The guys were glad, but unfortunately Fishlegs accidently knocked the rock off the roof and it dragged him down with it. He fell over and then there was a scream and a loud thump. The guys looked over and saw Fishlegs lying on the ground and Astrid sitting there looking shocked.

"Are you okay Fishlegs?" Hiccup asked.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said getting up.

"Hey where's Ruffnut?" Snotlout asked.

The guys looked and saw that Fishlegs had landed on Ruffnut and he was shocked, Hiccup came down to help leaving Snotlout and Tuffnut on the roof.

"Dude, He squashed your sister." Snotlout said.

"Eh, could've been worst." Tuffnut said.


End file.
